Christmas Weekend Update

Happy holidays, everyone!

I trust you're all enjoying your long weekend!! I love Christmas, and it was incredible this year! I really felt the love of my friends and family and was so relaxed. I spent the first half of the weekend eating everything in sight, but I followed it with a 12 mile run Saturday morning (and afternoon - when you're as slow as me, 12 mile runs extend into the afternoon if you don't start early enough).

Psychologically, after doing a 21 mile run, 12 sounds like nothing. I was really looking forward to it! However, physically, 12 miles is still really far, as it turns out. My mom, who has signed up to run a half marathon with Team in Training in March - go Mom! ran the first 5 miles with me, and it was great to have someone to talk to and keep my spirits up with the biting wind and cloudy gray skies keeping me cold. Thank goodness I got some great running outerwear for Christmas! But Mom got to finish her run and move onto Saturday morning errands, while I had (only) 7 more miles to go.

Perception is a funny thing. We were running in the neighborhood where I grew up, which is the first time I have done that since I started training, and, even though I haven't run or walked those streets in years, there was a familiarity to them that made the whole run seem (seem is the key word) really short. There is a two mile loop in the middle of River Oaks that we run often during Team in Training runs, and it always feels to me like I am on that loop for an eternity, but in Sugar Mill, plodding down the streets that are a part of my DNA, where every branch and sidewalk crack is a memory, and even the slightest changes to the facades of the houses are noticed, a five mile loop feels like a blip in time til I'm back where I started. I sure wish I had figured that out before going 7 times around the 3 mile Rice Loop last weekend! But maybe that explains why the second half of my 21 mile run on the loop seemed so much shorter than the first...by the time I'd gone around for the fourth time, I was intimate with the path. My brain was allowed to go to sleep because there was nothing new to notice and it didn't have to wake up until it was finally time to stop.

These are the things you think about while logging 29,800 steps (yes, I got a pedometer for Christmas!). Thanks for indulging me! You have all supported me in so many ways throughout this run, I feel like you deserve to hear how I'm doing!

In regards to my fundraising, I am almost there!! I am just $107.20 away from the minimum I have to raise to run, and the deadline is 5pm Monday (yes, that's tomorrow!!). Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far...you are the reason I am able to do this, and I appreciate it more than you know! More than that, you are appreciated by every single patient, survivor and family member who benefits from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

If you have considered donating but haven't yet, please think about doing it today...just $5 from 21 people would put me over the edge! I am still raising money until February 16, and my goal is $3500, so if you can't right now (believe me, I know immediately post-Christmas can be hard) but would like to, it will still be very welcome in the new year!

Here is the link to donate: Happy holidays, everyone!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/txg/houston10/aclack
I've been getting feedback that the link isn't working, and I don't know why, so if you have trouble, just go to www.teamintraining.org, click on Find a Participant, and put in Autumn Clack.


Love and thanks to all of you...I hope you are enjoying this magical time of year with the wonder and enthusiasm of a child!

21 Miles Down, 5 To Go

Yes, it's true. I went 21 miles yesterday! You'll notice I did not use the word "ran," because that would not accurately describe what I was doing most of the time, but, as my mentor Kelsey says, "Propelling myself forward with my legs through the cold for 21 miles is hard enough!"

Let me start by saying what I am thankful for this time...

The beautiful weather we had on Sunday, without which I might very well have convinced myself I didn't need to complete this run and gone home. Seriously, when the morning is cold and rainy, it just seems to get colder and colder the longer you're out there, everything on your body locks up much faster, and you get soaked to the core with wet feet that weigh about 10lbs more than normal. It's not pleasant, to say the least. So with weather just warm enough to not need a second layer, no wind, and beautiful sunshine ALL DAY, I was set up for success.

Laura, Katy and Kelly for texting me back all day (yes, I was texting while "running"). If not for those words of encouragement - "Go girl! You're already there!" "I am so proud of you, just a little more!" and (when my mp3 player ran out of battery with 2 miles to go [note: ALWAYS start a 20 plus mile run with a fully charged music player]) "Do you want me to sing to you? Cuz I will!" (Laura, you're a saint!) - I definitely would have taken myself seriously one of those times I decided to quit.

My neighbor who works at Luke's Locker and totally hooked me up with much needed new shoes, meaning that my ankles didn't feel like they were shattering until the last 6 miles, instead of the first 6.

The fact that this was our last long run!! We start our taper now, meaning only 12 miles next Saturday, and it's all downhill from there until January 17!! Woo hoo!!

Forget the rest, I'm stopping with what I'm thankful for this run. It was great. And I did it. I'm thinking of my marathon hero, the woman without whom I might not have ever signed up to run, Zoe Koplowitz. I don't know this woman, but I read about her last year and her story stuck with me, even before I was considering running a marathon. She has MS and diabetes and ran the NYC marathon on CRUTCHES!! She went on to run 22 marathons so far, and holds the world record for Slowest Marathon Runner Ever. This is the link to her website, http://zoekoplowitz.com/Home_Page.html, and if you want to hear her story told beautifully and powerfully, pick up a copy of Cynthia Kersey's Unstoppable Women next time you're in the book store. It's just a couple of pages long, and it will change you. I don't aspire to Zoe's heights of 24 plus hours, but it reminds me that what matters is sticking with it and crossing that finish line.

And we can't forget the donation reminder...I have 1 week from today to raise $107.20 to meet my minimum, so please consider donating, even just $5. It will really help LLS do what they do, helping patients, survivors and their families live and thrive. I have more and more people in my life who are being diagnosed with these terrible diseases, from Manila to my own backyard, and anything you can donate would really help their journeys. Here's the link to my page where you can donate:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/txg/houston10/aclack

I leave you with the quote we hear all the time at Team in Training.

"If you think running is hard, you should try chemo."

Thanks, everyone!

Enough Whining Already

Dear readers,
I was just looking back over my posts, and realized that they had turned into a litany of my maladies, rather like a moderately old person who gets together with her friends for tea and spends a happy two hours relating every ache, pain and twinge since last month's tea meeting. Ugh, how boring for you. I apologize. Plus, I am really sick of the word "knee." So, you can all just assume until you hear otherwise that my k*** hurts all the time, but I'm not talking about it anymore.

Instead, in the spirit of the recent holiday (Thanksgiving, in case you live in the UK or a box), I would like to mention what I am thankful for today. Many, many things come to mind, but, to name a few -
The incredible donations that have come in that are making my whole run possible.
My amazing friends for always being there to support me.
My family for being really cool and letting me be me.
Andy, my partner in crime, for, um, everything.
Andy's family, for making me feel like family.
Andy's dad kicking esophageal cancer's ass and eating more Thanksgiving dinner than me (oh, and EVERYONE at MD Anderson!!)!!
Having a Christmas tree.
Chocolate and wine and peppermint schnapps.
Having 6 jobs, when some people have none.
Dan for creating Deviations with me, and for what that might bring.
Getting in shape for the first time in my life!!!

I've got lots more, but it's time to join one of my favorite people for dinner, so I will sign off...leave me a comment on what you're thankful for this week!

Autumn
www.teamintraining.org/txg/houston10/aclack

P.S. 26 days left to the fundraising deadline....$448 left to my minimum and $1448 left to my goal - woo hoo!!!

Physical Therapy is Fun - NOT!!

The title says it all...

On the first day I thought, Wow, this is awesome! Get a nice massage, play with some toys, meet the nice people, and insurance pays for it - great!! Three treatments in, I am in so much more pain than when I started. I THINK it's because I'm starting to loosen up and that is a painful process...at least I hope so.

Today when the therapist was working on me (and by that I mean digging his thumb into a spot that was already so sore that my pants touching my skin hurt it) and I was biting down on my sweater like I was in labor or something (it's possible I might be a wuss), he joked, "You know, this is only happening because you're running a marathon."

And I batted back (after releasing my sweater from my teeth), "Yeah, if I'd just stayed on my butt like God intended, I'd be fine right now!"

But I got to thinking about it, and realized that, yes, this is all happening because I decided to run a marathon. But I have the choice to do that. And the whole point of choosing was to raise money and awareness to help people who can't choose to run. And who are dealing with pain that makes mine seem like rainbows and unicorns. So I keep reminding myself to be thankful with every pull in my leg, and with the pain in every step, because I am lucky enough to be able to choose to put myself through that. And lucky enough to have the opportunity to help people who didn't choose what they got, yet get up every morning and are braver than I can fathom. Here's to them.

Yup, Still Hurts

Test run....more like test limp! For those of you just tuning in, Wednesday night was my first run after 10 days of rest, and it hurt like a BLEEEEEEEEEP!! The whole rest and anti-inflammatories didn't work, apparently. But when I talked to doc Thursday morning, I told him there was no way I was taking anymore time off. My coach had already dropped the D-word (as in "Drop down to the half") and the W-word (as in "you may have to Walk-run"), and those did not agree with my competitive spirit (I may have thrown a little temper tantrum in my head when she said it), so I decided I have to train like nothing's wrong for the rest of the season. Doc says that we will do some magical ultra-sound therapy on my IT band where it hurts (look at me, I'm like an athlete or something, with my PT [physical therapy, for all of you couch potatoes out there] and my IT and my ultra-sounds and steroid creams!), but I can run while we do it. So, of course, I had to ask the ultimate question.

"Let's say it doesn't get any better and I just train and run the race anyway. What's the WORST thing that could happen?"

"Ummmmm...I guess it could rupture, but I've never even heard of that happening before, so....it'll probably just take longer to heal when you finally let it."

Sounds good to me! I'll gamble that I won't be the first to ever rupture my IT band through overuse. And isn't pain funny? As soon as I knew that the pain didn't mean anything, it had no power over me. I was just able to ignore it and keep on going. Of course, Saturday on the 16 MILE RUN!! I couldn't even feel my knee because my entire body was in revolt, having not run at all for almost a month. I had no idea that one's feet were able to cramp up like that! I do not recommend 0-16 at once, but needs must.

One thing that may actually have lessened the pain is I finally caved and got the dreaded foam roller. If you've never seen one, it's just a hard foam cylinder. Looks innocuous enough. Lay on it on your back and roll back and forth and it seems fairly innocent...like a nice little massage. Put it under your IT band and roll back and forth real slow like, and you feel like someone is sticking a knife up into your heart through your leg....excruciating!! But after, all pain in my knee is relieved...til I run again. I highly recommend this form of torture for anyone having knee pain from a suspected tight IT.

Oh, and here's a time update for those of you wanting to come see me finish...definitely go to brunch first! 4 hrs and 5 min for 14 miles (I couldn't even finish the last 2, and felt bad for the coaches and mentors who weren't allowed to go eat until I was done). I may not even officially finish. They shut the race down at 6 hours...so I can keep running all I want, but I won't technically exist anymore! You may actually be able to go eat lunch before cheering me on.

And, of course, go to my website and donate...cancer still exists, after all.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/txg/houston10/aclack

Love you all for your support, thanks for everything!!

Diagnosed and Resting

Can you call yourself a runner if you aren't running? I feel like all the muscles I created are just turning back into fat day by day, and I sort of have the sensation that I am atrophying all over and turning into a slug with bed sores. So stop complaining and go run! you think. Ah, not that easy, my friends. Went to the doctor last week (and may I say, I LOVE having health insurance!!! X-rays, consultation, etc, for almost NO money! Nothing makes you appreciate it like spending 3 plus years paying $180 for routine visits), mainly because running had become impossible.

I had come to the conclusion that my knee pain must be in my head and that the only way to deal with it was to push through. That was a decidedly poor choice. If you were in need of entertainment, you could have plopped yourself down around Rice loop on Saturday or Sunday in the last few weeks with some popcorn and watched me trying to run. I looked like a cross between Forrest Gump before his metal braces came off and Laura Dern in Jurassic Park after the dinosaurs broke her ankle. My theory was this - whether I gave myself a week off or a day off, the same spot always started hurting again within 10 min and quickly became excruciating, so I didn't appear to be making anything worse or better by running through the pain. My "14 mile" run on Oct 31 was the kicker that got me to make a doctor's appointment. I got a fancy new brace that let me get through 3 miles okay, hobble through 6, and fall apart so that by 9, I couldn't even walk, much less run. And, of course, to make it worse it was a beautiful day on Halloween here in Houston, so there were tons of people out running that day, all passing by me over and over with their dang normal strides and functional joints. I have never been so jealous of runners in my life!

So, like it or not (definitely not, I'm very weird about doctors and generally hate everything about going...it would help if they offered adults lollypops, I think), doctor it was. I couldn't imagine going 26 miles the way I was. I would have been crawling. Which would have been even more uncomfortable. Not to mention humiliating. After endless googling, not having a clue as to who was a genius and who was a quack, my partner had the brilliant suggestion of searching through my insurance website. Huh. Who knew he was so smart. Which is where I found Dr. Fredrick A. Brown. He was listed as being less than 2 miles from my house, but apparently recently moved to the Richmond Bone and Joint Clinic in Sugar Land. NOT convenient. But SOOOOO worth it. I liked his bedside manner, as it were, and I was out with a diagnosis, a plan, and a prescription in 30 minutes.

Just to give you a little insight as to what might happen if you ever visit a doctor for knee pain, here's what went down. I stood in a bunch of weird fashion photo shoot poses to get x-rays which, apparently, showed nothing. Then he came in and started manipulating my knee in every way you can imagine. And, frankly, quite a few ways I had never imagined. Even though I was still sore from my 9 mile hobble, when he asked for each one, "Does that hurt? How does that feel?" I said, "No. Fine..." for every single one. I was starting to think I really was crazy! Then, just like that, he said, "We have a diagnosis. IT disorder." Woo hoo!!!!! (Don't ask me to spell what IT stands for, but it's the tendon [?] that runs between your hip and knee and can get very tight. I stretch it before every run, but...) It's inflamed! Prescription strength Aleve for 10 days and no irritating it while keeping up my cardio. Have I done that? Not the cardio part. I'm apparently very good at resting. Shamefully, I have no exercise machines and no time to drive to my parents' house and use theirs. The elliptical machine irritated it anyway. I haven't even been doing yoga to keep up my strength. I blame it on working too much, but, really, I think it's just laziness. Hence, it's Tuesday Nov 10 and I feel like a fat blob. I get to run tomorrow night, though, to "test" it, and see the doc again Thursday morning.

In summary, October was an amazing month for fundraising. So many people gave so much to this cause, and continue to on a daily basis. I hope everyone knows how incredibly grateful and moved I am by their donations. I tell them, but I'm not sure if my words convey my gratitude. I am already within $500 of my minimum that I have to raise to race, and am halfway to my goal of $3500...you can check out my website at http://pages.teamintraining.org/txg/houston10/aclack to donate or to keep up with my fundraising progress and cheer me on. Unfortunately, October was a garbage month for training, but I can't wait to hit it hard starting this weekend (with 16 miles!!!) and make up for it for the next two months!!!

Wish me luck with my test run tomorrow night, and comment with any words of encouragement you may have!

I thought I was feeling pain on Saturday. That was our ten mile run. All I could think was, Ohhhhhh, my knees.....my ankles....my lower stomach muscles...ouch. I tried to give myself a break for being such a wuss - that's almost half a marathon!! Or, at least, that's what I'm telling myself to make it seem more manageable. I only ran once all week last week because I was trying to give my plantar fasciitis-ridden foot some time off so it didn't rip in two and leave me crippled and in need of surgery. Turns out, the reason you have to run everyday during the week is to keep your body used to getting pounded so that when you do the long runs, to keep your body used to getting pounded even more, you don't get injured. That now makes sense. I wouldn't have said I was injured, per se, but walking was terribly difficult all day Saturday. I rubbed some Muscle Massage Gel on my knees and felt pretty much okay...until today.

I suppose part of the problem might be that I'm bartending nowadays. It certainly doesn't leave me with a lot of time to sit with my feet up (not that I'm complaining, I would die if I had to sit behind a desk all day, but there is something to be said for being on your feet less than 10 hours at a time), and my "knee problems" have always been exacerbated by working in restaurants (was it worth an eternity of unremarkable knee discomfort to have those 12 months of life as a middle school cheerleader, starting me, I'm sure, on the way to early arthritis? Really? Was it? Yeah, maybe. I mean, that is how I got friends for the first time. And got invited to parties. And had a boy ask me out that my best friend didn't order semi-against his will. Ah, puberty. Anyhoo...), so my current employment is not exactly helping me heal. Work is just making me hover at a stabilized level of pain, though. Running, a necessary daily task, seems to activate the crushing, disabling left knee horror. I don't quite know what to do about this, other than spend the latter 3/4 of my workouts running like Forrest Gump before his braces came off, swinging my leg around in a circular motion from the hip without bending my knee - very attractive, I assure you. I have an email out to my coach detailing my ailments. I'm hoping she's responded with some reassuring, just-push-through-and-it-will-feel-better sort of missive. I suspect I may be too optimistic.

But, then again, what do I really need my knees for in the long run? Especially since they have such glorious prosthetics now. And ESPECIALLY since I'm not doing this for me or the health of my joints. This morning I had to go run up and down the parking garage near my house 6 times (in case you're thinking that sounds fairly easy, join the club. And, oh, by the way, you would be mistaken). After the first (yes, FIRST) one I thought I was going to quit after number two. But I managed to give myself a stern talking-to in my head that convinced me to go for number three. Okay, halfway...DYING (and by the way, if you're reading this and didn't live in Houston today, you should know that it was about 400% humidity, which canceled out the "mild" 80 degrees), and ready to call it quits. Right at that moment, a guy going into his work called out to me loud enough to get me to pull out my headphones. Last time that happened it was followed with a sleazy comment and a wink, so I was definitely on my guard.
Him: "Which one are you running?"
Me: "Full (ohhhhh, he must be a running enthusiast! That's okay, then)."
Him: "You're running for my son."
Wow. I had forgotten I was wearing my Team in Training shirt. Needless to say, I didn't think about my knee again for quite awhile. So, yes, I am running for man-in-parking-garage's son. And for man-in-parking-garage. And for my father-in-law who is having his esophagus taken out in surgery tomorrow because he is fighting esophageal cancer. And for Andy Allen. And Jesus Torres. And Amy Oliver, who I never met but whose story I have heard and am moved by through my friend Cherrie. And James' sister, Elizabeth Loyd. And my grandpa. And all the other millions of people out there who are fighting blood cancers, and all the other cancers, and their families, and their doctors, and the kids in high school right now doing well in biology and thinking, "I want to be pre-med." I am honored to be running for them.

To find out more about Team in Training or to donate to the cause, go to:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/txg/houston10/aclack